Reflex Attraction
by ardavenport
Summary: Captain Janeway sits through 'sessions' with the doctor, the Commander and an alien healing who saved Chakotay's life with her help, but has left her highly sensitive to her first officer's presence
1. Chapter 1

**REFLEX ATTRACTION**

by ardavenport

* * *

**- - - Part 1**

* * *

Janeway sat in her chair, waiting for the session to begin.

It was a padded, high backed chair with armrests, the kind that they had in the conference room. She didn't know that they had any of those in Sickbay. Commander Chakotay sat a few meters to her left, in an ordinary, gray and metal chair, no armrests, no headrest. The doctor set on her right, sitting at a small table and in the same type of chair as the commander.

Janeway's eyes cautiously peeked toward Chakotay. He sat placidly in his seat, hands folded in his lap and facing the doctor who read his padd with no acknowledgment that there was anyone else in the room. He had a small array of medical instruments with him. Tricorder, scanner, hypospray and a few other things. There was also an empty chair at the table and a box on the floor next to him, but nothing on it to indicate what it was.

Janeway knew that the minute she'd walked into Sickbay at 0600 hours – exactly when the doctor had told her to show up – that the therapy had started. Or perhaps it was when the computer had gotten her up at 0515 in her quarters and then recited the doctor's instructions for her morning routine. Or when Neelix had showed up at her door with a breakfast that the doctor had ordered for her. She'd had no intention of eating it, but ended up accepting and even nibbling a few bites of sweet roll because the doctor had included replicated coffee on the menu.

Or perhaps it had started the night before, when the doctor had shown up at her ready room at 2100 hours with a sedative to enforce his prescription that she get a good night's rest. Lieutenant Commander Tuvok had accompanied the doctor. Tuvok had not said much, but his presence, standing at attention at her desk, demonstrated his cooperation with the doctor. Tuvok had already spoken to Senoebi. "He has a remarkably disciplined mind," was what her security officer had said about the alien healer when she'd asked for the Vulcan's opinion. That was practically a statement of approval coming from Tuvok.

Janeway uncrossed and then crossed her legs again. They all sat at four sides of a square, with the door to the small circular room making the fourth point. The biobed and specialized medical equipment normally used in the isolation ward had been removed. The wall displays were shut down, the sterile room was bare except for them and their chairs, table and things. Bright light shone down on the center of the room. "Acclimation therapy" was the term the doctor had used to describe this procedure. But she didn't feel like she was getting used to sitting in the same room as Commander Chakotay. She felt the same involuntary sensation that had gone through her the day before, after waking up in Sickbay and seeing the commander, still unconscious on another biobed. She had avoided him completely after that. He was obviously recovered from his injury, thanks to the doctor. And Senoebi.

"_This is a very invasive thing. There will be after effects," Senoebi had insisted, his greenish face sickly gray in the harsh emergency lighting on the space station. Chakotay had lain injured between them. He'd gone into shock with a head injury. People ran about, yelling, screaming. Senoebi was one of the few people doing something useful immediately after the explosion. He was a healer, a telekinetic healer, though his occupational uniform hadn't meant anything to Janeway until Neelix had explained it to her earlier when he had briefed her on the various peoples on the space station. But Senoebi had hesitated over Chakotay's injury._

_Senoebi had never seen a Human before. _

_He had held back, his four hands close, but not touching Chakotay, unsure if anything he did would help or cause further harm. And there had been other injuries around them to treat, other species from this area of space that he did know and could heal. And smoke and scattered fires and radiation blocked their communicators to Voyager._

"_There will be after effects."_

_There certainly were_, Janeway had to agree.

The door opened and Senoebi entered. Janeway's first thrill of terror dissolved into a hot flush that rose up from inside her. Her hands clinched and a part of her mind shrank back, horrified by the responses of her body. Senoebi calmly entered and walked directly across the room toward her. To Janeway, it seemed that he moved in slow motion. She fixated on every step, every crease of his clothes as he moved.

She sat tense in her chair as she watched him approach. Dark shoes, crisp beige pants, a pale blue over tunic and a dark coat. He had four arms, like a Terellian. All four of them hung loosely at his sides, the upper pair slightly forward to the lower pair. His skin was pale green, the long, sparse, brownish hair combed back on his head did not cover the line of his head. She focused on all the details of him as a picture without words.

Staring up at his very human-like face, she looked for his eyes; they were brown and Human-like. But he did not make eye-contact with her; he looked at her, not into her as he had before. Senoebi inclined his head down toward her before reaching down and drawing her up, out of the chair. Her body instantly relaxed at his touch and he guided her to the center of the room, under the light. He looked at her face, but not her eyes and then down at her body, like an inspection. His arms wrapped around her, one pair at her lower back, one pair over her upper arms, almost at her shoulders.

Janeway's heart pounded, her body surrounded and pressed next to the alien healer. Flushed and dizzy, she felt as if she were swaying with it, blissfully letting it fill her, her face next to the other warm body. She settled into it like a steaming bath and stared out at colors and shapes without registering what she was looking at.

The side of her face rested against smooth, soft fabric. She breathed in a faint floral scent. There was also a sharper, but still faint smell, like sweat, but it wasn't Human. Janeway rarely got close enough, but it was really true that you could identify alien species by how they smelled . . .

Janeway started, her arms at her sides and Senoebi's four arms wrapped around her. She was looking toward the doctor, still seated at his table. It seemed as if he sat in shadow, or perhaps the lights over her were just much brighter. She though she made eye contact with him, but he averted his eyes downward.

She no longer heard her own heartbeat in her ears. She was torso to torso with Senoebi; his body temperature seemed to be about the same as hers. The whole front of her body was warm and sweaty from the physical contact and her underwear was damp and clammy, but she kept still.

She had been standing there for . . . how long?

Senoebi's arms surrounded her, pinning her arms, but he wasn't holding her tightly. His hands simply rested under her shoulders and on her lower back. She wasn't sure, but she didn't think he'd moved at all. For how long?

Janeway closed her eyes, trying to think. She had not been thinking at all, that was the problem. All thought had just shut down as soon as Senoebi walked in. The same way it had happened the day before. Janeway had to admit that she had been warned about it.

As soon as she had agreed to let Senoebi use her body as a guide to stabilize Chakotay's injuries on the space station one of his hands seized her chin and his thoughts penetrated hers. Instantly hypnotized by him, she had submitted to the wave of alien thought that plunged through her body.

The doctor's clinical explanation was that one of the most common responses of non-telepaths to mental invasion was a sexual one. Gender did not seem to matter; the effect seemed to be equally common among males and females, especially among Earth Humans. Of course, Tuvok knew that as well. The Vulcan had mind melded with her before and they both knew what happened in the first few seconds before Vulcan discipline and Human emotions found their equilibrium.

But Senoebi's methods had been ruthlessly physical. He had invaded her completely. He had drowned her thoughts into a roar that filled her ears and swelled into a tingling heat that entered her whole body. Lights had sparkled and filled her vision with many colors, too compelling to look away from and she had suddenly become aware of every exquisite point in her whole body. It had been the most sensual twenty seconds she had ever experienced.

Then Senoebi laid her down on top of Chakotay and it had felt as if she was sinking into him, breaking through layer by layer until every part of her existed in complete union with him. Janeway did not remember anything coherent after that until she woke up in Sickbay a couple of hours later.

Janeway opened her eyes. The doctor was still sitting at his table. The doctor had said that Senoebi told him that he had simply used the fastest means available to gain control over her, to use her to help Chakotay. But when Senoebi had warned her about "after effects" she had not imagined that the experience would effectively program her with an intense pleasure reflex as soon as she laid eyes on either Chakotay or Senoebi. The doctor had described it as being almost an addiction.

Janeway swallowed and it sounded unusually loud in her ears in the quiet room. She flexed her shoulders slightly and moved her fingers. She hadn't moved in . . . how long? Her feet were starting to hurt.

Senoebi hadn't moved at all. No fidgeting, no motion. His chest didn't move or expand like a Human's did, but Janeway could detect a slight, regular tension and release in his whole body. And she could feel the faint touch of his breath at the top of her head. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. And then she stopped. Her body was still pressed up next to Senoebi and any movement at all made her rub against him. She did not want that.

Her body no longer responded at all to her proximity with the alien healer, so obviously the acclimation portion of this session was complete. But she still felt the creeping unease that there was more to come and especially, more that she could not control.

_How long was this supposed to last?_

She took a deep breath. She wanted to wait for them to say something to her. If she spoke first then she would be immediately vulnerable to whatever was next in the therapy. That was how therapy always worked.

But the deck was feeling very hard on the soles of her feet and Senoebi hadn't moved a millimeter. He could obviously wait her out.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing tell me how long we're supposed to stand here like this?" She didn't move her head at all to look at Senoebi. In fact, she was still looking in the doctor's direction, but she spoke to the healer.

"Only as long as you think necessary," his smooth, even tenor answered her.

A cryptic answer. That was not good. Senoebi's variety of therapy was like Starfleet's, where you were supposed to 'find your own way' and utterly expose yourself emotionally in the process. She could not see why this was necessary, since Senoebi had already so thoroughly exposed her the day before. He could do anything he wanted. With her. The tension increased inside her.

"Well, I don't think I'm getting anything out of this anymore. May I sit down, please?"

No answer. Janeway waited, but he didn't speak back. Senoebi's arms still remained around her and it was getting increasingly uncomfortable for her to stay still. But she didn't want to move because it would accentuate her physical contact with him. Even through the fabric of her uniform and his layer of clothes, she had a fair idea of what he was built like, the rounded muscles of his arms, the extra skeletal structure that supported his second set of arms. His clothes no longer smelled floral, they smelled more like him . . .

She started and pulled back just far enough so that the front of her was no longer touching the front of him. She looked down at her feet, and his. Her shoes were black and polished. His shoes were rough, very dark blue and looked like they were of the same course material as his coat. Senoebi wore his own kind of uniform. Janeway could feel herself blushing and her pulse increased.

This wasn't going well.

"May I please sit down?" she repeated. If he would just say something, she could catch some clue as to what was supposed to happen next, what was expected of her.

He didn't say anything. Janeway clenched her mouth shut. She'd already given away too much, by the strain in her voice, by speaking first. They were half a step apart now, but his hands remained relaxed and resting on her shoulders and back. His touch now embarrassed her and she could feel her blood pressure going up. He wasn't doing anything and he was still . . . . controlling her.

Janeway tightened her hands into fists. The worst part of it was how much she had wanted to be used, to lie down and let his mind lap her up as he had back on the space station. Any thoughts of saving Chakotay's life had vanished into her sudden desire for pleasure. Senoebi hadn't invaded her thoughts; he had owned her body, and some part of her mind seemed to want nothing more than to return to that bliss. She'd distracted herself with work the night before to keep herself from even thinking about it. But she had been so nervous that she could hardly talk to anyone more than a few minutes at a time and she'd done more pacing than working alone in her ready room. And the doctor had been right to give her a sedative the night before. She would never have gotten any sleep on her own.

Janeway shuddered, repulsed by what she was thinking. The worst type of mind control had to be the kind that was embraced freely. She didn't think that she was a danger to the ship. But to herself, she wasn't sure.

She stared at his pale blue tunic, a little rumpled from the physical contact, like bed sheets that had been recently slept in. Janeway shut her eyes and tried to jettison that thought. She wasn't the slightest bit attracted to Senoebi. His skin was pastel green, he had a rounded plain face, few and wiry hairs and four arms. But he did have a great mind.

Opening her eyes, she swallowed and lifted her head to look at his face. He passively gazed back. Janeway mentally dared herself to look right into Senoebi's eyes. With a tiny change of expression, he looked back at her. She got nothing from him. No thrill, no mind seduction, no boundless pleasure to sink into.

Janeway breathed quickly, her body still anticipating . . . something. She felt like she was trying to stare down every horrible, finger-probing humiliation possible on her person.

She dropped her head. It was like a phobia. She was shaking, but having stared right into Senoebi's face and succeeded without giving into her body's reflexes, she was determined to stand there until he gave in and told her what the next step in this therapy of his was.

But her feet really were starting to hurt. And after awhile her neck started bothering her too. Janeway's resolve wavered. It was foolish of her to think that she could get out of talking about what had happened. Any kind of therapy always cornered you into it. That was the whole purpose of it, so she was just delaying the inevitable. But how could she start without getting herself in too deep?

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**- - - End Part 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**REFLEX ATTRACTION**

by ardavenport

* * *

**- - - Part 2**

* * *

"There has to be a better way of doing this." Her voice sounded a little choked despite her attempt at calm. Even her ability to keep up a pretense of control seemed to be beyond her.

"There are many ways. They always seem to be different." Senoebi commented over her head.

"May I make a suggestion?"

Silence. Janeway squeezed her eyes shut. He was deliberately making it difficult for her. Did he really expect her to speak out loud about how easily he had gained utter control over her? And how she couldn't stop thinking about it afterward?

"I think we need to try something else."

"So do I," Senoebi agreed pleasantly. But he did not move and she waited for him to explain.

She jumped and gasped when she felt a new touch on her back. Senoebi's lower hands shifted to her waist and his upper hands gently pressed her shoulder's together. She didn't look up at him again. Another set of hands rested on her hips. Senoebi gently turned her around and she found herself nose to chest with Commander Chakotay.

Her heart pounded in her ears again. Chakotay's arms went around her. Appalled with herself, with Chakotay, with Senoebi, she whimpered. The sexual reflex that she thought she'd acclimated to came back. Senoebi's hands placed her head on Chakotay's shoulder, positioned his hands on her middle back.

She stayed rigid. Her body was already betraying her; she did not want any kind of motion at all to make it worse. His uniform smelled like him, masculine. And she felt queasy with knowing that he was close enough to smell her, her hair, her body.

She stared to the side, in the doctor's direction and she saw Senoebi leave her and walk to the table and sit down in the empty chair. The pleasure response was already subsiding because she was beginning to feel nauseous. She thought that she might have felt less unwell if Senoebi had used his power over her to have her strip on the bridge. Would Tuvok finally end this if she did that, she thought furiously.

Shutting her eyes, she took deep breaths. Chakotay wasn't quite as good at stillness as Senoebi, or perhaps she was more sensitive to the Human feel of him.

Her feet started to hurt again. She had stopped caring about whether she could work out a way to get this therapy over with as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry, I don't feel well. May I sit down now?"

There was no answer. She opened her eyes. The doctor sat at his table, reading a padd; Senoebi sat placidly staring off into space, with his hands folded before him. Janeway felt misery creeping up on her. Any kind of confession or confrontation would have been preferable to being ignored like this. She supposed that if she fainted, then they would have to do something, to take some note of her being there. But the thought of passing out gave her a flush of strength.

"Chakotay, can you tell me what I'm supposed to do?" she asked very quietly.

"No." She thought she heard him take an extra breath, perhaps to say something more, but he didn't. She did feel his head turn and knew he had to be looking toward Senoebi.

"Ah! It's time for lunch." The doctor's cheerful voice broke the solemn silence in the room. Abruptly, Chakotay released her. He stepped back and she thought she saw a look of sympathy before he turned away and briskly went back to his corner of the room. The chair scraped on the deck when he picked it up. He walked around her as he carried it across the room to the doctor's table and took his seat there. She did not turn her head toward them, but she could see what they were doing. The doctor and Senoebi were laying out a lunch from the now open box at the doctor's feet, sandwiches, pickled vegetables, fruit, bottles of water and tea, cookies. Chakotay's back was to her.

A chill went through her and Janeway wrapped her arms around herself. She was facing her own chair of the room. She felt like she was on display, naked in this equally naked room, in the middle of some weird thought experiment. She inhaled, sniffed, went to her chair, sat down and started to cry.

Janeway leaned on the armrest facing away from the others. She did not want them to see her, but she couldn't stop them from hearing. Every time she inhaled, she made a horrible wailing. But the frustration and humiliation that had been building up in her were overwhelming. Her body, her anxiety, her anger, her tears, it didn't seem like she could control anything anymore. Chakotay had to know everything, what her reaction was to him. The doctor would have told him. They were both following Senoebi's lead.

There was a long, loud scraping sound and she saw pairs of legs moving around her. Janeway bolted upright. The doctor and Senoebi had moved the whole table and lunch to her. As soon as she was sitting up, they moved the table right up to her chair. There was a full place setting for her.

Eyes wide, she stared down at it. It was another test.

She sniffed and hurriedly wiped her face with the back of her hand and then snatched up her napkin and used that. Stray hairs had come loose from her bun, tickling her cheeks and neck and she futilely brushed them aside. She remained turned away from the table and meal. None of the others were looking at her and she certainly did not want to look at them. They served their own lunches while she tried to compose herself.

The logic of the therapy was pretty transparent; now that they had gotten the requisite gush of emotion from her, she was welcome to join the group.

Straightening, she turned toward her lunch. It was surreal. Senoebi sat across from her, Chakotay on her left, the doctor on her right. The same positions they had occupied in their corners of the room.

"I've heard that Station Manager Yoozid is being held responsible for yesterday's explosion." Senoebi began before taking a bit of vegetable.

"Really?" Chakotay responded before taking a bite of his own sandwich.

"Yes, I have heard that Yoozid has never been a good manager and even worse at facing responsibility. He's hiding out in his rooms."

Suddenly terrified of saying anything, Janeway looked down at her own plate. There really must be something wrong with me, she said to herself. Her fear made her feel ill again and the aromas of food made it worse. The sandwiches seemed to be Neelix's ususal mystery-pate, and she was sure that she had been seeing those orange and green picked vegetables in the mess hall for the past few days. She put down the napkin and picked up the glass of water and took a few sips. The others prattled on but she focused on her own problems.

She desperately wanted to get this whole session over. She had accepted from the doctor that it was necessary and that it would be difficult. But she wanted it over with. And she wanted to do it right, so that whatever triggers and conditionings that Senoebi had inadvertently left inside her head were really gone. She had to get it right.

Still not too hungry but determined to move on, she picked up a sandwich half and bit off a corner. Neelix had taken extra care with these sandwiches. He'd cut off the crusts and the layers of greens and pate were even and generous. She might have thought that they were replicated, but no replicator program could reproduce the Talaxian's cooking and she would question the sanity of any engineer who would try.

It didn't taste too bad and she took another bite.

"Yoozid's assistant said that they got their transducer parts from the Ranae traders. We could go to them directly." She didn't look up when she answered a question from Chakotay.

"Uh, Tuvok has already contacted them and they sound interested, but they won't be here for another couple of days." There was hesitation in Chakotay's reply and Janeway heard him shift in his chair.

"It won't hurt us to stick around for a few more days. How are the station repairs going?" She still didn't look up from her plate; she just couldn't force herself to do it. She took another sip of water.

Chakotay gave her a run down of the assistance _Voyager_ had given to the damaged station. Yoozid's second assistant, Mazmid was coordinating the repairs and assistance from _Voyager_ and a couple of other ships, including the one that Senoebi had been traveling on. The scuttlebutt on the station was that Mazmid would soon be given Yoozid's job. Janeway peeked up at Chakotay as he spoke.

Senoebi was facing her. He wasn't staring, but Janeway still felt like she was on display. Now she peered at him suspiciously. Could he be influencing her now? According to Tuvok, his telekinetic and telepathic abilities were "extraordinary", which meant a lot. But Tuvok had been equally impressed by Senoebi's discipline and code of ethics about not entering another person's mind uninvited, and that meant just as much.

The doctor, of course, wasn't eating, so the serving bowls, extra sandwiches, tea and water bottles ended up on his side of the table. He sat there smiling to himself and occasionally tapping notes on the padd he was reading. But his eyes glanced around the table enough to make Janeway feel like she was being watched by the doctor as well.

She looked down at her nibbled sandwich. She didn't think she could take any of the aged, pickled vegetables, so she stabbed at an orange slice with her fork. It was cool and juicy, but more like melon than a citrus fruit. She couldn't remember what the original name of the fruit was, but it was close enough to an orange to be called that.

"This is my first trip to the Lour'Atz Station. I've hardly ever been off my own planet before this." Senoebi restarted the conversation when the exchange of facts dried up between Janeway and Chakotay. The doctor picked it up this time. Janeway pushed her plate and fork away. She felt like she was at a party where she didn't know anybody. She didn't feel unwell anymore, but she wasn't hungry either.

"Can we get on with this, please?"

There was the briefest of pauses before Senoebi went on with his story about his history as a healer, ignoring her. Janeway lowered her head again. What was she missing?

"I suppose you've done this sort of thing before." Janeway commented about Senoebi's current treatment.

"When necessary. But never with a species I've never studied before," he answered calmly, not disturbed at all with her interruption.

"So, what is your conclusion from this . . . study?"

"This study isn't concluded."

Janeway felt her frustration rising. Chakotay and the doctor seemed to be finding other parts of the room more interesting to look at. Janeway had been given very little instruction about this therapy of Senoebi's other than the goal; to remove any subconscious conditionings leftover from the healer's manipulations. That part of this session seemed complete; she was now sitting at lunch with both Senoebi and Chakotay with hardly a quiver.

_What else was there?_

Feeling her eyes start to tear up again from the indignity, she clamped her mouth shut and lowered her head. What was she missing in this? The smell of the rest of her lunch on the plate in front of her started to make her feel nauseous again and she pushed it away even further. Staring down at her hands, she forced herself not to feel the anger and frustration. She had to speak and advance this thing. Senoebi was waiting for her to make a move and she did not have any choice.

"Mister Chakotay, you said that Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim were coordinating our assistance with the station." Janeway didn't think that the repairs on the space station were what Senoebi wanted her to be talking about, but she needed to start somewhere. "How long do you think it will take them to finish the repairs?"

Chakotay finished his mouthful and cleared his throat. "We're almost finished now. Mister Mazmid has only requested our help using the transporter, beaming out wreckage from the evacuated areas, once they've cleared the radiating elements . . . "

Janeway listened, organizing her thoughts and wiping her eyes with her napkin. Neelix had told her the day before that the Lour'Atz had a tradition of honoring those who helped others in distress without asking for payment first, so she supposed that this would work in their favor once they got back to trading for supplies from them.

She looked up at the Commander. "I think that once we're finished with our part in the repairs I'll speak with Mazmid directly about when we can resume our negotiations. Neelix seems to have established a good relationship with him so, if you don't mind Commander, I'll talk to him first."

Chakotay opened his mouth to reply.

There was a thump under the table and Chakotay jumped.

* * *

**- - - End Part 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**REFLEX ATTRACTION**

by ardavenport

* * *

**- - - Part 3**

* * *

Janeway stared at him and then looked down at her plate, this time to hide her flush of excitement. Chakotay had obviously strayed from the script. From the direction of Chakotay's glance, she guessed that Senoebi had kicked him under the table.

_Why?_

"Well, it's time to continue." Senoebi laid his napkin down and got up. The doctor and Chakotay dragged the table back to the doctor's corner, leaving Senoebi facing Janeway from the center of the room, under the lights. He stepped toward her, his face pleasant, and drew her out of her chair as if inviting her out to a dance floor.

Janeway barely remembered this from when Senoebi first came into room, but now she watched every movement. The healer was as composed as when he'd entered. She looked back at his face, trying for her own pretense of composure.

He positioned her in the center of the room and then he drew Chakotay toward to her and placed them in exactly the same position as they'd been in before lunch. She only had a brief impression of his tattooed face and dark hair, but it seemed as if his expression was worried, unhappy. Then Senoebi wordlessly went back to his chair and sat down next to the doctor.

Janeway let her shoulders drop, her face resting at his shoulder, her body next to his, but she was past the point of embarrassment now. She kept her expression neutral as she stared off to the side, toward the doctor's corner of the room.

Chakotay didn't move, but the rise and fall of his chest were familiar to her, Human. She noticed that they tended to synchronize their breathing. They stood alone in the center of the plain, stripped Sickbay ward. She turned her head so that she faced away from the doctor and Senoebi.

"Chakotay," she said very quietly, hopefully low enough so that Senoebi would not hear everything. "Why are we still standing here?" Perhaps he would give her more information than the evasive healer.

There was a long pause. She could feel him inhale.

"Because you need help."

He'd spoken low, as she had, as if he didn't want Senoebi or the doctor to overhear then either. She felt a twinge of real hope that he might tell her what she needed to do to get out of this whole ritual. The doctor and Senoebi were merely trying to fix a problem. Chakotay cared.

"How am I supposed to need help?"

"Senoebi's joining affected you more than you realize."

Joining. That was what Senoebi had called it. But she had not named it in her own mind until now. Senoebi's flurry of explanation on the damaged space station had hardly prepared her for it. But even if she'd known exactly what it was beforehand, she would have accepted it just the same. To save Chakotay's life.

She made her own change to Senoebi's planned therapy and put her arms around Chakotay and hugged him. Despair welled up in her from the thought of him dying a useless, accidental death, on an alien space station, just out of reach of medical help. She hugged him tighter, but the hopelessness increased. She heard a noise, from the doctor's corner of the room.

Janeway felt Chakotay's hands caress her back, moving into a real embrace and not Senoebi's sterile stance.

"I know you can get through this, Kathryn," she heard him say very softly.

Her thoughts and fears melted and she sighed. Her body relaxed though she kept her arms around him. Her thoughts unraveled as if a huge knot came undone in her mind. The tension left her. She let it go and stared off toward Chakotay's empty chair in his corner of the room.

After a time a figure moved in front of her. Senoebi. She noticed his body, his presence standing right in front of her, blocking her view of the empty corner. Senoebi spoke, his hands moving. The doctor spoke.

Words floated past her in disjointed segments . . .

Senoebi: _. . . don't move . . ._

Senoebi: _. . . you cannot give her any support, Commander . . ._

A couple of Senoebi's hands waved in front of her.

Doctor: _. . . another fine mess you've got . . ._

Chakotay: _. . . I'm sorry, I . . . _

Senoebi: _. . . not undone, but this can easily be the be . . . _

Chakotay moved just a tiny bit, barely a shift of position, but she felt it and tightened her arms around Chakotay's middle, wanting to get closer.

Senoebi: _. . . don't move . . . _

Doctor: _. . . physical response to . . ._

Senoebi: _. . . know your species was so . . . I can . . ._

. . . the rest of it washed past her with no meaning. After a time Senoebi left and her view was empty again. She daydreamed without thought, close and content.

Her arms circled him at the waist, firm, but a little rounded with middle years. But not soft. He didn't move anymore.

Her head resting against his shoulder, she saw his rank insignia at the collar of his gray uniform shirt. His black body suit was open a bit at the neck, just below the red material at his shoulders. The details surprised her. She had been looking at them the whole time, but . . .

Janeway started. Her feet were beginning to hurt again. She looked around her with just her eyes, without moving her head. Nothing had moved in . . . . she did not know how long. Again. She felt a twinge of anxiety. But not panic this time.

The whole front of her body felt sweaty and soiled, but she kept still. His uniform smelled like both of them. They'd been standing there for much too long, but she did not move from her embrace. Her thoughts unfolded on their own . . .

The involuntary flush, the body warmth, the trance, it was all gone. She was just standing under the lights of a gray, empty room in Sickbay with her arms around her first officer.

She gave him a little squeeze. He didn't move. His hands were again placed, palms flat at a neutral point at the middle of her back. Thank you, Chakotay, for being here, she thought silently. If her feet were hurting, then she knew his probably were, too.

Captain Janeway lifted her head and looked up at him. There was just a flicker of surprise in his dark brown eyes before he stifled it. Her eyes went to the doctor's table and the two there were both openly watching her.

She took her arms away from the commander's middle and stepped back from him. His arms fell away from her. She turned and went to her chair in the room. Commander Chakotay stood alone under the bright lights in the center of the room. He let his arms fall back to his sides. Janeway could see from his expression and the quick glances toward the doctor's corner of the room that he did not know what came next in the script.

That was what they wanted all along.

Janeway closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

_I'm just going to leave. I'm going to rest here for a minute and then I'm going to get up and go to my quarters and take a long, hot bath. If they want to stop me, they'll have to tell me what else they expect me to do._

They started to move about, but Janeway didn't feel like reacting to whatever they were doing. She did sit up and look when she heard the door open.

She saw the backs of the doctor and Chakotay leaving. The door closed behind them. Senoebi also watched them leave and then he picked up his chair and brought it over to her. He took off his dark coat, pulling each of his four arms out of the sleeves and hung it over the back of his chair.

He sat directly in front of her, the room's door and central overhead light behind him. The light shone through the thin bit of hair on his head. He sat with his lower pair of hands in his lap and the upper pair resting at the inside elbows of the forward pair of arms.

Janeway pressed her lips together, the sudden privacy now intimidating. She looked back at him. She felt a bit intimidated, but refused to show it. At least she hoped it didn't show. Presumably, he was not going to read her thought without her permission. She sat up straight, hands on the chair's armrests. And she waited for him to start.

He didn't. He sat with what she though was a practiced enigmatic smile on his pleasant, and greenish face.

"I can't see that I have anything more to do in this," she began after she got tired of looking at him.

"No, the physical aspects have been completed."

Captain Janeway looked back at him, waiting for him to continue, but he didn't. Was he going to force her to pry every bit of information from him?

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

"You have acknowledged all the physical revelations of the joining, but none of the personal ones. You haven't spoken about it."

"I'm not the only one who needs to speak about it." She leaned forward. "Just what did you do to me? What did you do to Commander Chakotay?"

"Commander Chakotay was quite oblivious to and unaffected by your condition at the time, but I did explain the situation to him last night with the doctor."

Janeway sighed, exasperated. "That is not what I asked."

"But you did want to know it."

"All right." She nodded. "But you haven't told me what happened."

"You know what happened. You were there."

Janeway looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know what you did."

"Yes, you do." She looked back at him. "You know everything that I do. It was a shared experience. Thought to thought. Body to body."

"Why did you do it?" she challenged him. "You had my cooperation in it. You didn't need to . . . violate me."

"I needed to be quick. Your physical reflex when I entered your mind was a sexual one. It was much simpler and faster for me to use your pleasure reflex to examine you and make you my tool." He gestured with his upper arms. "I did speak with Lieutenant Tuvok and he confirmed that this is your usual reaction."

"Tuvok talked with you about it?" she asked, shocked.

"No, he didn't do anything more than confirm it. For a telepath, he has an extraordinarily guarded mind. He demanded his own examination of me before he would agree to this."

"He is my security officer."

"Why did you ask me why I violated you? You don't feel violated. You've experienced both telepathy and sex. You don't shrink from either. And I know that you accept the necessity of the situation."

Janeway got up to stare down at him.

"Both telepathy and sex are considered private among my people." She paced around his chair. Senoebi stood up as well, destroying her height advantage.

"You were quite willing to sacrifice your privacy to preserve life. I haven't seen that you've changed on that."

Janeway continued to pace and Senoebi turned, following her motion. "All right," she conceded, holding up her hands. "Yes, given the same circumstances, I'd do it again. But it didn't stop after Chakotay was out of danger."

"I did warn you - - "

"You didn't warn me about that!" She stopped and stared back at him. "You didn't expect it to go that far, did you?" she realized out loud. Senoebi gestured with his lower hands, his face all innocence.

"I had no idea that your species was so susceptible to your own appetites . . . and addictions. You must have a terrible problem with it."

"We compensate for it." They faced each other in the center of the room, discarded chairs around them. Senoebi raised his upper set of hands and stepped toward her.

"I knew that there was a serious problem as soon as I initiated the joining, but it was too late for me to do anything about it then."

"You might have said something to me, communicated something about it then. You were inside my head."

"To establish the kind of control I needed, I shut down all of your higher thought processes. You wouldn't have listened." He stopped in front of her. "I was quite busy with the emergency after dealing with you and your commander. I left inquiries about you with some of your ship's personnel when I saw them among the rescuers, but the first intimation I had about any problems were from the doctor, when he contacted me and told me that you were acting strangely."

Janeway straightened and glared back at him. "I was not acting strangely."

"Excessive fidgeting, nervous movements, hormone levels three times higher than normal and the doctor said that you were stuttering."

"I was not!" she denied.

"I wasn't here to see it, but I trust the observations of Mister Tuvok and your doctor. I heard your doctor's assistant saying that your actions might have been normal if, 'you drank fifty cups of coffee and an aphrodisiac,' Senoebi quoted. "I did try the coffee; it was very good." He smiled pleasantly back at her, both sets of hands folded before him.

Paris, Janeway thought. It had to be Tom Paris. The helmsman wasn't even the doctor's full-time assistant, but he was in Sickbay. She remembered him hovering over Commander Chakotay when she woke up in Sickbay but she had left as quickly as possible, so she didn't know what he'd seen, or thought he'd seen. And Senoebi hadn't been on the ship then. When had he arrived? She had not approved him coming aboard.

It had to have been Chakotay. He could have authorized Senoebi coming aboard without her. If she were incapacitated. Janeway frowned unhappily and looked about her at the barren room and the discards of this session. Had she been acting that strangely? She remembered people looking quickly away from her in the corridors and on the bridge. And Torres had seemed nervous when she'd spoken to her chief engineer about the assistance _Voyager_ was giving to the damaged space station.

* * *

**- - - End Part 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**REFLEX ATTRACTION**

by ardavenport

* * *

**- - - Part 4**

* * *

She had avoided Chakotay, even refused to let him into her ready room, but it had seemed at the time that her demand for privacy was acceptable and no one had bothered her for more than an hour after that until the doctor had shown up with Tuvok.

Her stomach growled loudly. Senoebi's eyes widened and he looked at her middle curiously.

"I'm going to go to my quarters and have dinner. I trust I can leave now?"

Senoebi serenely smiled back at her, his four hands still folded before him.

Janeway stared back at him. _Back to this?_

"May I leave now?" She took a step toward him.

He tilted his head in a non-committal motion.

"Ugh!" She stalked toward the door.

"You don't need my permission for anything," Senoebi said to her back, just as the door opened. "Why do you keep asking me for it?"

Janeway whirled about, stunned. She had not been asking for his permission. She was only being polite to him and he was manufacturing some other motive for her. She turned at a noise from the doorway. Tuvok, the doctor and Chakotay peered inside and all three seemed to duck back when she saw them. She faced Senoebi again.

"Are we finished with this now?"

"No, of course not," Senoebi responded agreeably and stepped up to her, his hands extended to her.

Her mouth opened, just before she felt it happening to her again. His face, his eyes, she fixated on him. She felt mental fingers flexing inside her head and a chill of adrenalin in her stomach. Thoughts flitted through her mind; pictures–the bridge, the view screen, the back of Tom Paris's head, Chakotay, her desk, Neelix with a tray, a plant, her quarters, her face in a mirror –and words, in own her voice, Chakotay's, the doctor's, Torres's, Tuvok's, Senoebi's... His upper hands descended on her shoulders, the lower arms circled her . . .

Her arms shot up and out and then around, bringing her elbows forward, she threw all her weight into Senoebi's middle. She was too close to hit him, so she pushed, angry sound rising in her throat.

"Uuuuunnnhhh!"

Senoebi didn't go down. He rapidly backed up across the room and they both slammed into a black, deactivated medical monitor screen.

"Get out, get out, get out!"

She drew back and swung her fist down, but two of Senoebi's arms blocked the blow. Denied a solid target she drew her arm further back this time - -

A hand closed around her wrist and jerked her back, off balance. She wriggled around, trying to twist her arm free, but she was pulled further back and her feet stumbled under her. She grabbed for support - -

"Captain!" Tuvok held her arm up. She awkwardly sprawled in front of him with her hand full of his uniform at the waist. She stopped struggling and he helped her up. She snatched her arm back as soon as she regained her feet. Still breathing hard, she looked down and straightened her own uniform. She really, really wanted a bath and a change of clothes now. She glared at Senoebi, who was being helped up by the doctor.

"I told you she would do that." He smoothed the light blue front of his own tunic. He looked down at Janeway, who radiated hatred. Her security officer had assured him that his captain was not prone to violent outbursts, but experience had guided his preparations. Unfortunately, he'd assumed that she was too small to do any serious harm, but he hadn't expected her elbows to be so hard and pointed. The healer rubbed his middle with a couple of his hands and decided not to regurgitate his lunch.

"That really is the only way to know for sure if the subject is recovered from a joining." He'd only lightly delved into her thoughts, just enough to let her know that he was there, and he had severed the connection as soon as she moved. Tuvok looked from his captain back to him. "But Lieutenant Commander Tuvok insisted that he be present when I did it." The Vulcan inclined his head toward him and Senoebi wondered what it would be like to be in a room full of such closed-off telepaths; or on a whole planet full of them?

Captain Janeway brushed stray strands of her thick, disheveled hair away from her forehead and wiped her face.

"I see," she responded, her voice cold. Behind her, Commander Chakotay looked like he was about to say something. Then he didn't. Senoebi had known that Chakotay would be the weak element in this. But there had been no way to avoid using him. His thoughts and feelings toward Janeway - - duty, honor, lust, passion, friendship - - were a confused morass of conflicting options. His devotion to her was about the only clear, reliable sentiment in him. He deferred any responsibility for action about his feelings to her, which itself conflicted with his own dominant characteristics. And she had decided to err on the side of duty and had decreed a formal distance between them.

This seemed to be a state of equilibrium that they had shared for awhile.

That sense of order, along her voluntary control over her own reflexes, had been thrown into chaos by the joining. At least the voluntary control was restored, now. Any other chaos she faced was up to her as far as Senoebi was concerned.

Janeway turned on the doctor when she heard his medical scanner hovering by her head.

"Well, you seem to be more or less recovered, though I'll need to examine you . . . " The doctor paused over his captain's expression. "After you've had a chance to get a little rest and refreshment, of course. I think we're finished for now."

Janeway nodded to him, grateful that someone had finally declared and end to this . . . therapy. She was certain that Senoebi wouldn't have gotten around to it without some prompting.

"Now if you don't mind - - " Janeway clamped her mouth shut on the nicety. She thought that Senoebi's expression was a bit too amused and she tensed herself for another mental grab.

"I'm going to my quarters now." She gave each Tuvok and Chakotay a look so that neither would even think about offering to escort her. "Mister Tuvok will see you off the ship, if you're really finished." Senoebi gestured his assent.

"Of course, Captain," Tuvok responded. Senoebi glanced toward the Vulcan as if to say 'she did that, too, see?' Feeling a bit too much on display again, Janeway turned and left.

Commander Chakotay found Captain Janeway later in the mess hall. Neelix was fussing over her at her table. It was past 2000 hours, a late dinner, so there weren't very many other people there and no one sat near the captain by the view port.

"And if there is anything else I can get you Captain, don't hesitate to ask." The Talaxian hovered over the table, his hands wringing his apron.

"Thank you Neelix, this will be fine." Neelix patted her on the shoulder and picked up a tray of empty dishes. "Oh, Commander. I didn't see you there. Have a seat, have a seat. I'll be right back with something." Chakotay didn't have time to say he didn't want anything before Neelix was gone back to his kitchen.

"Mind if I join you?" He waited for her gesture toward the empty chair across from her before seating himself. He really did not feel sure that she would accept his company. She didn't speak or look up at him.

Chakotay sincerely would have preferred to wait until she wanted to come to him. But Senoebi had insisted that he go to her right away. And the healer had been so absolutely right in all his predictions of the captain's behavior in this and he had been so utterly wrong.

She picked at Neelix's approximation of carrot cake and occasionally glanced off to the side, as if she were just thinking and not ignoring him. She had tidied her reddish-brown hair, her uniform was new, her face somewhat calm. She looked so much better than she had at Senoebi's 'lunch' where her hands shook, her face alternated between terror and tears. And even after she'd eaten a little and began participating in the conversation, there had been a horrible nervous strain in her voice that made it very difficult for him to sit and calmly play along with Senoebi's ignore-and-reward system. The rules had been simple. Ignore her anytime she asked for permission or approval for anything. Act normally when she stated her own opinions or showed her own initiative to do things.

Neelix came back with a piece of cake for him and a glass of water.

"There you are Commander," the stout Talaxian placed the dish and glass before him with a napkin and a fork. "Now if there is anything else I can get for you, Captain - - "

"No." Janeway looked up from her contemplation. "Thank-you Neelix," she said as soon as Neelix's face began to fall. "You've been very helpful." The smile returned to Neelix's spotted, whiskered face.

"So glad you're feeling better." Neelix leaned toward her, patting her hand. "Anytime you need anything at all, just ask." He straightened and beamed at them both. "Well, I'll leave you two alone."

As soon as Neelix was on his way back to his kitchen Janeway sighed and rolled her eyes. Neelix's last statement had looked uncomfortably like a set up for a date.

"Well, checking up on me, Commander?" She sipped from her glass of bitter tea. Chakotay looked very uneasy facing her and she felt a little guilty satisfaction about it.

"Well . . . yes," he admitted. "Senoebi thought that I should explain what happened." Chakotay told her what he had been told by the healer about his methods. Janeway listened.

She couldn't find any fault with Senoebi's methods much as they made her cringe to recall. Chakotay's explanation made her feel a little better, a little less personally invaded. But she never, ever wanted to see Senoebi again and she looked forward to when they would be light years away, back on course for the alpha quadrant. She was sure that the healer understood her feelings on that. She had very much wanted to spend some of her replicator rations on a dinner in her quarters, but that had felt too much like she was hiding out again. So, she had endured the imagined stares of any crew member she passed in the corridors and gone to the mess hall.

"It wasn't easy for me to sit there while you were so . . . "

"Crazy?" she filled in. Tuvok, in his own logical and impersonal way, had made amends to his friend by forwarding his personal log from the night before. She had listened to it while getting dressed to go to the mess hall. It had been very honest.

"Damaged." He looked directly at her and she did not look away. "You put yourself at risk to save me and I wanted to thank you."

"It's not like we haven't done something like that for each other before," she reminded him of their perilous existence, alone with ship and crew, 60,000 light years from home.

"This time it was a lot more personal, Kathryn."

"I couldn't have done anything else, Chakotay. Even if I'd understood what was going to happen beforehand, I couldn't have done anything different." There voices had lowered from the emotion between them. She reached her hand across the table to him and he covered it with his own. "Maybe if I'd known I might have handled it better. You might not have needed to be so harsh with me today."

"I have to admit that after Senoebi explained what we needed to do last night, I told him I didn't think I could go through with it," he confided.

"I'm sure it was very difficult for you."

He inexplicably smiled and averted his eyes. Surprised, she looked back at him for an explanation.

"I, um, told the doctor that . . . I didn't think I could stand there, next to you . . . with you in my arms for that long without . . . reacting." He looked back up at her, over his untouched plate of cake, his smile a little tentative.

Janeway's eyes widened.

"The, um, doctor gave me a shot for it. He said it would wear off by tomorrow. I hope."

_Why is he telling me THAT?_ She cleared her throat.

"I appreciate the . . . sacrifice. Commander." Her eyes flicked down to where his large hand lay over hers. Her impulse was to withdraw, but she turned her hand over so their palms met, their fingers curling around each other's hands. Chakotay looked like he was trying not to laugh.

But she knew that if she had approached him with any sexual intent last night - - and she had certainly thought about how her body was responding to him, much as she had tried not to - - he would have been as terror stricken as she had been that morning. But given her condition then, of course he wouldn't have taken advantage of her. But now?

_You must think I'm alright if you think it's safe to flirt with me._

_But is it safe for you, Chakotay?_

She got up, still holding his hand and stepped around the table to stand over him. He looked surprised now. She leaned over and kissed him, her lips on his, her mouth open just enough to get a taste of him. She felt a tiny bit guilty, taking advantage of him since he had just admitted that he couldn't do anything about . . . this.

She faced away from everyone else in the room and she did not turn to look back at the few people there - - and Neelix - - who were surely staring. Chakotay could stare down the crowd and the looks after she left. She already knew that being looked at wasn't fatal. She clasped his hand between both of hers before releasing it and laying one hand on his shoulder. "Good night, Commander."

* * *

****O**O** END **O**O** **

* * *

**Note:** This story was written in 1998 with the title 'Senoebi and I believe it was sent to a print fanzine that was not published (or I did not get a contributor's copy of it, if it was), so it is possible this is the first time it has been published.

**Disclaimer:** All characters and situations belong to Paramount; I'm just playing in that sandbox.


End file.
